The myth about building self-worth

If we want our children to believe in themselves we need to focus more on their strengths than their weaknesses.

All children (and adults!) need to know that they are good at something.

Help your children find and develop their strengths so they will base their self-worth on the things they can do rather than on the things they can’t.

Transcript

the myth about building self-worth Particularly with boys, we think that the way we raise our boys to like themselves is to chisel off all their flaws, fix all the things that are wrong with them, then they'll feel good about themselves and then they'll like themselves. That's not how it works. The way you raise a boy to feel good about himself is to focus on all the things he can do, rather than on the things he can't. So we all desperately need to know that we are good at something. All children, all adults. We need to know that we are good and worthy at something. So focus on your boy’s strengths. Now if they are not things that are measured on report cards or measured on football fields, then sometimes it can be really hard to find these strengths and your boy might not think he has any. In our book, we list a list of strengths. Your boy has strengths. Make sure he knows what they are, focus your attention on his strengths, and spend most of your time helping him develop his strengths rather than on correcting his weaknesses because then that's how he can see himself. I'm a capable person rather than I suck at all these things.